Alvin Orloff is the author of three whimsical queer novels: I Married an Earthling, Gutter Boys, and Why Aren’t You Smiling? and co-author of The Unsinkable Bambi Lake, a transgender showbiz memoir. He currently works at Dog Eared Books Castro, a quaint neighborhood bookstore, and ­continues to write, his latest project being a book about crazy, slutty club kids during the height of the AIDS crisis. He worries that life is passing him by, so if you invite him to do something (contribute to your magazine, appear in your movie, lecture your creative writing class, go out for drinks, what have you) the answer will almost certainly be “yes.”